Marriage Enthusiast Gifts

"Of course your conversation doesn't bore me...I'm not listening!"

"This is a great place to work...they give you a day off every time you get married!"

'I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your freedom goodbye.'

PERSONNEL, 'This is terribly embarrassing -- I've been married so many times, I've forgotten my maiden name.'

'Do you, Carol, promise to be the voice of reason in this marriage?'

'My love life is terrible. Every night my wife has a headache and every morning I have a hangover.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'Look at it this way, you're not losing a son you're gaining an informant.'

'Hey - did that last couple have problems or what?'

"I can marry you, but I can't trial-marry you."

'My husband took these pills to give him some get up and go, and the next thing I knew, he got up and went.'

"When you say your life has gone from the 'sublime to the ridiculous' where do I fit in?"

'You owe us on the loan we made to you to get married.'

"I now pronounce you husband and wife ??" subject to a seven-day cooling-off period,"

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"'I do' must be the longest sentence in the English language!"

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Old Man and Women

'Come on , Glenda! I'm not in the mood for playing hard to get!'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'It's my husband, I had him made into a boxed set.'

'Look after the licence - you can't get divorced without it...'

'Your dinner won't fit in the oven.'

Gender Symbols

"I've changed my mind."

"What makes a happy marriage - how should I know? Ask your mother."

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

"...For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or divorce do you part?"

"Son, the secret to a happy marriage is simple: when you think you're right, you're wrong...and when you think you're wrong, you're right!"

"This isn't a debate - You don't get time for a rebuttal."

'You and Greg have been married an entire year?...Tell me, what's your secret?'

"You know those little run-arounds you were talking about Fiona? Well I've just got myself one..."

I don't know, Hilda... I don't trust this guy! (Wilbur Jones: Marriage ConsultantDivorce Lawyer).

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'