Modern Relationship Enthusiast Gifts

"Bride or groom?"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Online Dating

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Growing Love

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Hold on

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"

What are you doing? You promised we'd watch it together!

Love

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

"My wife - is she still staring at me?"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"Too desperate?"

"Legs up to here!"

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'