Marital Life Enthusiast Pillows

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

'Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Start feeling sorry for me.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

So all is not rosy in the garden?

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"No heroic measures."

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

'Looks like the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. It's not just your bowel. Everything about you is irritable.'

"I now pronounce you a joint return."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"I married for contrast."

"... and don't forget to clean out the garage and attic... and the gutters need to be..." "Put a sock in it, Sally. You knew I wasn't an eager beaver when you married me."

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Gender Symbols

"Would it kill you to help around the house for once?!"