Marital Advice Enthusiasts Pillows

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Let me give you some advice on marriage, Joe. . . try to think of me as the pope. . .'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"It's not what you think."

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"I married for contrast."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

'We're past the 'romantic' phase and into the 'living hell' phase.'

"If you've been affected by any issues raised during our love-making there's a number you can call."

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'