Married Life Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm always recovering from the previous ten minutes of my existence."

"Every night when I go home my wife whispers those three little words, 'wipe your feet'."

'Harriet just became a senior, but she's an oldie, but goodie.'

I remember when the monster was under the bed...

'Sorry, my wife can't take your call at the moment. This is her answer phone.'

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'Good news, Walter...I found the bullets.'

"Your husband is critical."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

Incompatible.

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"Use your inside scream."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'Go forth and multiply!'

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Mommy and daddy Are Always Right!

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Mrs. Almighty.

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"Does it come with instructions?"