Married Life Explorers Pillows

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"...There's not a thing we can do that even resembles, sexy."

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

Mrs. Almighty.

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

Cyber Fight

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

'In denial and loving it!'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'Harriet just became a senior, but she's an oldie, but goodie.'

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!