Married Life Explorers Pillows

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"...There's not a thing we can do that even resembles, sexy."

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

Mrs. Almighty.

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

Cyber Fight

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'In denial and loving it!'

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'