Marital Explorer Pillows

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

'Apart from that,how do you like married life?'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

Mrs. Almighty.

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

'Let's put some magic into marriage. Let's get a divorce and marry someone else.'