Marital Adventurer Pillows

'I want a divorce, a divorce, and a divorce.'

'I'm finding it difficult to apologize to you, Fred, so I'm divorcing you instead.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"It was my worst nightmare. Then I realized I wasn't asleep!"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"This will be hilarious!"

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

Mrs. Almighty.

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'You don't like bananas? You don't like climbing trees? My dear, why have you hid this for all these years??'

'That's a cougar, come along, we're here to see the monkeys.'

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"It's your mother!"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

Marriage Counseling.

Sadomasochists in love

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

"To the nearest barbershop, John."

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

"I'm updating my relationship status to, complicated."

Another new position?