Matrimony Adventurer Pillows

'You may now kiss your bachelorhood goodbye.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Relationship Warning Lights

"We'll always have couples therapy."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"This will be hilarious!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

'I wanted something special...not another candlelight dinner!'

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Roller Coaster of Love

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"She said don't forget the straw."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

Tunnel of stormy love.

Mate Mart

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Russian Dating.

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

'Roger, I think we need to talk about your trouble with intimacy.'

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

7 Dwarves of Valentines Day