Marital Adventure Seeker Pillows

"When the mayor closes a zoo, the animals have to go somewhere, Martha."

Mother-in-law comes to visit.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

'Well yes, I did ask for someone with a sense of humor.'

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"It's your mother!"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"Actually, that doesn't constitute a crime; but I do hope your wife returns your hopes and dreams."

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

'I was warned about online dating.'

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

A husband and wife who have fallen off of their bicycle

Hoping for a little romance on his date with Cindy, Mike soon realized the pitfalls of dating a veterinarian's daughter.

'No, you can't speak to my husband. He's sitting on the naughty step.'

Groom climbing up a cake to get to his wife.

"The first week of my honeymoon I spent in the Balearics..."

Rock Climber Wedding

First date bloopers...'I've heard the sushi is good here.'

Seductive lines that just don't cut it.

"Never ask a retired archaeologist to go find something in the basement."

"It's a parking ticket, madam. The prosecution doesn't need you to testify against your husband."

You're gonna love this, little buddy. What? The company that makes the "Call of Duty" game licensed my life story. The game will be just like a first-person shooter