Marital Adventure Seeker Pillows

"When the mayor closes a zoo, the animals have to go somewhere, Martha."

Mother-in-law comes to visit.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"It's your mother!"

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

'Well yes, I did ask for someone with a sense of humor.'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

'I was warned about online dating.'

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

'No, you can't speak to my husband. He's sitting on the naughty step.'

A husband and wife who have fallen off of their bicycle

"The first week of my honeymoon I spent in the Balearics..."

Groom climbing up a cake to get to his wife.

Seductive lines that just don't cut it.

Rock Climber Wedding

First date bloopers...'I've heard the sushi is good here.'

"Never ask a retired archaeologist to go find something in the basement."

Newly weds hitchhiking: 'Niagara Falls'.

"We married for better or worse. He couldn't do better and I couldn't do worse."