Marriage Adventurer Pillows

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

Man in plaster and bandages says his honeymoon was great

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'And do you, Al, promise to give marriage a try?'

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"We married for better or worse. He couldn't do better and I couldn't do worse."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"We'll always have couples therapy."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"This will be hilarious!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

'I wanted something special...not another candlelight dinner!'

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

Russian Dating.

Tunnel of stormy love.

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"She said don't forget the straw."

Mate Mart

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

Tough Love 2000