Newlywed Adventurer Pillows

"To the nearest barbershop, John."

Just harried.

Just noisy.

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"What - you can't fly and you can't lay eggs??! And you say that now?!"

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

"OK, now what?"

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

"It's your mother!"

Lady vicar offering new bride a husband owner's manual.

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"Do you think this is one of those moments we'll look back on one day and laugh at, Gerald?"

Mrs. Wallace sounds off: 'My husband and I went to Hawaii for a vacation, he came down with one of those tropical diseases. Do you think our medical plan would pay for it?...'

Groom climbing up a cake to get to his wife.

"The first week of my honeymoon I spent in the Balearics..."

"Could I borrow a cup of flour and your biscuit recipe?"

'No, Irma, consummating out marriage doesn't mear hearing up your mother's chicken soup!'

"Never ask a retired archaeologist to go find something in the basement."

Rock Climber Wedding

"We married for better or worse. He couldn't do better and I couldn't do worse."

Newly weds hitchhiking: 'Niagara Falls'.

'Didn't I tell you to hydrate before we left the house this morning?'

I know we've only been married three weeks, dear, but it seems like you should know where the kitchen is by now!

'Wow! Your wife's lawyer was really good, wasn't he?'

'Frankly Darling, I don't need a GPS system to tell me I'm in the middle of nowhere...'

"My husband fell into the bear enclosure! I threw my phone down there. I think it bought him some time."

"It was my worst nightmare. Then I realized I wasn't asleep!"

Mother-in-law comes to visit.