Newlywed Adventurer T-Shirts

"To the nearest barbershop, John."

Just harried.

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"What - you can't fly and you can't lay eggs??! And you say that now?!"

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"OK, now what?"

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

Lady vicar offering new bride a husband owner's manual.

"It's your mother!"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"Do you think this is one of those moments we'll look back on one day and laugh at, Gerald?"

Mrs. Wallace sounds off: 'My husband and I went to Hawaii for a vacation, he came down with one of those tropical diseases. Do you think our medical plan would pay for it?...'

Groom climbing up a cake to get to his wife.

"The first week of my honeymoon I spent in the Balearics..."

"Could I borrow a cup of flour and your biscuit recipe?"

"Never ask a retired archaeologist to go find something in the basement."

Rock Climber Wedding

'No, Irma, consummating out marriage doesn't mear hearing up your mother's chicken soup!'

"We married for better or worse. He couldn't do better and I couldn't do worse."

Newly weds hitchhiking: 'Niagara Falls'.

'Wow! Your wife's lawyer was really good, wasn't he?'

I know we've only been married three weeks, dear, but it seems like you should know where the kitchen is by now!

'Frankly Darling, I don't need a GPS system to tell me I'm in the middle of nowhere...'

'Didn't I tell you to hydrate before we left the house this morning?'

"Jerry, I don't think that you will find any help in your field mauals."

'The trial marriage was going okay, until a surprise witness showed up.'

'So how was the Honeymoon?'

'You knew it was a jungle out there when you married me!'