Matrimony Adventurer Mugs

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Relationship Warning Lights

"We'll always have couples therapy."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"This will be hilarious!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'I wanted something special...not another candlelight dinner!'

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Russian Dating.

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Tunnel of stormy love.

"She said don't forget the straw."

Mate Mart

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"