Marital Adventurer Gifts

'I want a divorce, a divorce, and a divorce.'

'I'm finding it difficult to apologize to you, Fred, so I'm divorcing you instead.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"It was my worst nightmare. Then I realized I wasn't asleep!"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"This will be hilarious!"

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

Mrs. Almighty.

'You don't like bananas? You don't like climbing trees? My dear, why have you hid this for all these years??'

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'That's a cougar, come along, we're here to see the monkeys.'

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

Sadomasochists in love

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"It's your mother!"

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

Marriage Counseling.

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

"Philip Larkin wouldn't like you, either."

"I'm updating my relationship status to, complicated."

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

Another new position?