Marital Explorer T-Shirts

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

'Apart from that,how do you like married life?'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

Mrs. Almighty.

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Well you've finally driven me here.'