Marital Bliss Explorer Pillows

"Sweetheart, I don't want anyone to make you unhappy except me."

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

"Well, they're not what I had in mind,dear..."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

Mrs. Almighty.

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"