Marital Bliss Explorer Pillows

"Sweetheart, I don't want anyone to make you unhappy except me."

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

"Well, they're not what I had in mind,dear..."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

Mrs. Almighty.

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"