Marital Mirth Explorer Pillows

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Mrs. Almighty.

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

"By my count, that is the 27th last cast."

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

'You may have to go through the pain barrier today.'

"...There's not a thing we can do that even resembles, sexy."

'Let's put some magic into marriage. Let's get a divorce and marry someone else.'

"I was TOO listening. I just wasn't caring."

'The trial marriage was going okay, until a surprise witness showed up.'