Marriage Mirth Explorer Pillows

"By my count, that is the 27th last cast."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Mrs. Almighty.

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

'You may have to go through the pain barrier today.'

"...There's not a thing we can do that even resembles, sexy."

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

'The trial marriage was going okay, until a surprise witness showed up.'