Marriage Mirth Explorer Gifts

"By my count, that is the 27th last cast."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Mrs. Almighty.

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

"Actually, that doesn't constitute a crime; but I do hope your wife returns your hopes and dreams."

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'You may have to go through the pain barrier today.'

'The trial marriage was going okay, until a surprise witness showed up.'

"...There's not a thing we can do that even resembles, sexy."