Marital Bliss Explorers Gifts

"It's a wedding gift from my mother in law."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Mrs. Almighty.

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

"By my count, that is the 27th last cast."

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!