Marital Bliss Seekers Gifts

'Look, can't you take it in turns to do the daily Sudoku?'

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

Parson and abandoned husband

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'What the hell is that guy's problem?'

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

Gender Symbols

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"I married for contrast."

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

I am prepared to unveil by brilliant innovation. Is it an MP3 player? It's a self-help book. A simple way for readers to achieve instant happiness. You? What do you know about happiness? You're miserable and you make other people miserable. Wrong! People will get happy or I'll kick their keisters! Uplifting.