Marital Wisdom Seekers Gifts

Playing House.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

This is forever... till death do us part...

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

Parson and abandoned husband

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

"So you have a communication problem! Have you tried powerpoint?"

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'Do you, Edward, promise to play second fiddle and also pay the piper?'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

"I'm not withholding. I'm busy."

"So you both think each other is an idiot. . . who said we wouldn't find some common ground?"

'We believe in resolving a problem as soon as it arises.'

'No, you can't speak to my husband. He's sitting on the naughty step.'

"You need a husband transplant"