Wedding Wisdom Seekers Gifts

This is forever... till death do us part...

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'Oh, crap.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

His and Hers Wedding

'They call it the people dance.'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

Parson and abandoned husband

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'Oh, this is my son - I'm home-enlightening him.'

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'We have an objection from Mrs. Weber...'

'I know we had some good time together, Muriel, but a permanent relationship is out.'

'I give it six months.'

"Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace... in everything."

After years of pointless therapy, Morris took up speleology and finally found himself.

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

The Uber Wedding Planner: 'Ok, we're almost there...we just need a clarification on the whether the 'till death do us part' clause is meant literally or figuratively.'

"Ah, here it is - the Wedding Service app."

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'