Relationship Wisdom Seeker Gifts

"You don't have a weak chin, dear. You have a confident overbite."

Hold on - for relationship questions, you'll want to see my wife.

'I apologized on national television, begged my wife for forgiveness, and sales went through the roof. I am now contemplating having an affair with my secretary.'

"Feel free to take notes."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Oh, crap.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Beyond the known and the unknown.

'You must heal yourself.'

FAQs.

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."