Romantic Advice Seeker Gifts

"If you have a boyfriend, I have some advice, young lady! Wisdom that's been handed down from generation to generation!"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Sitting in a tree

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Baker Romance

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

Constructive Criticism 50c.

'Are you sure you know what you're doing?'

Funnel of Love.

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

Cupid and parachutists.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Wow! Check out the moon."

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

How oysters get engaged.

'Here's how you'll know for sure. Does he always get dreamy and say it, like 'I l-o-o-o-v-e you,' - or is it just a tossed-off, 'Love ya!?'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.