Relationship Advice Seeker Gifts

"I feel invisible."

"I'm having my wedding ring melted down into a bullet."

The Neuro — The First Official Worldwide Currency

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

'Why do we never cuddle anymore?'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'You never ask me if I still love myself.'

'If you weren't afraid to commit, you'd CARVE it, not use a pencil.'

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

"This is your government. For complaints about the stock rates. Press 1. for complaints about economic policy. Press 2. for complaints about the weather. Press 3. for complaints about your relationship..."

"Well - I don't know what possessed her..."

'No wonder my wife's upset. After reading this article, I can't understand me either!'

'You can call off the red alert -- we made up.'

"Sanctuary Vicar, for God's sake, sanctuary."

'I'm saying - I want to share your pain - you selfish bastard!'

"The law says his wife gets half of everything he owns."

"I met my husband in this bar... well, ex-husband...well, my ex-husband who's my current boyfriend. It's complicated."

"Mommy divorced Daddy because Daddy was noncompliant."

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

"A good marriage lasts for ever. A bad one just seems to!"

"I hear absence makes the heart grow fonder. Let's give it a whirl."

"Hello, is that the doctor?... my husband has become stuck in mid-argument..."

"Perhaps we could explore other ways of making sure our partner is listening."

"I don't understand why people treat me like a doormat."

". . . And, Reggie, if you're willing to give me one more chance, I promise never to flirt with another man again!"

"I was going to leave you once."

"My wife couldn't make it today. What are you doing later?"

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

Ask Sadie. Sadie, how do you keep the romance alive in a senior relationship? Signed, Randy. *Actual reader question. I'd like to bring in my correspondent to handle this one. Oh, do I have to, Snookums? I don't know what to say to these people. I think I'm going to take a pass. DO IT OR NO NOOKIE FOR YOU UNTIL 2029. Communication and compromise.

"He ran around on me even after his head was cut off."

"Admit it! You'd put me in a Winnebago if you could."

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."

Courtship versus Tinder

"Not sure if it's a deal breaker or not, but I probably should let you know that I'm neutered."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers. Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Sadie, My boyfriend refuses to tell me his Facebook password, and his security settings prevent me from seeing who his other friends are. How can I trust that he's not cheating on me if he hides these things from me? -Distraught in Des Moines. I get this question all the time, Distraught. First, you shouldn't jump to conclusions. There's no reason to assume he's cheating. It's just as likely he's