Relationship Advice Seeker Pillows

"I feel invisible."

"I'm having my wedding ring melted down into a bullet."

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"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

'Why do we never cuddle anymore?'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'You never ask me if I still love myself.'

'If you weren't afraid to commit, you'd CARVE it, not use a pencil.'

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

"This is your government. For complaints about the stock rates. Press 1. for complaints about economic policy. Press 2. for complaints about the weather. Press 3. for complaints about your relationship..."

"Well - I don't know what possessed her..."

'No wonder my wife's upset. After reading this article, I can't understand me either!'

'You can call off the red alert -- we made up.'

"Sanctuary Vicar, for God's sake, sanctuary."

'I'm saying - I want to share your pain - you selfish bastard!'

"The law says his wife gets half of everything he owns."

"I met my husband in this bar... well, ex-husband...well, my ex-husband who's my current boyfriend. It's complicated."

"Mommy divorced Daddy because Daddy was noncompliant."

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

"A good marriage lasts for ever. A bad one just seems to!"

"Hello, is that the doctor?... my husband has become stuck in mid-argument..."

"I don't understand why people treat me like a doormat."

". . . And, Reggie, if you're willing to give me one more chance, I promise never to flirt with another man again!"

"I was going to leave you once."

"My wife couldn't make it today. What are you doing later?"

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

"He ran around on me even after his head was cut off."

"Admit it! You'd put me in a Winnebago if you could."

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."

"Not sure if it's a deal breaker or not, but I probably should let you know that I'm neutered."

It's the same old story...boy meets girl, boy loses girl, girl rips boy to pieces on a nationally syndicated talk show!

"Ladies are most responsive to a 'bad guy' to 'good guy' ration of 7 to 6.3756892."

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

"How was it for you?"