Seeking Relationship Advice Pillows

'Sue, will you see a marriage counselor with me?'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'You know too much!'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

'You mustn't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, Dear. It makes me feel redundant.'

WHO checklist