Seeking Marriage Advice Pillows

"Of course being celibate, all my advice is second-hand via the internet..."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Try Mediation

'Great Therapy!'

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?