Seeking Relationship Counseling Pillows

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'You know too much!'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Relationship Warning Lights

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"You've changed."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Try Mediation

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'Great Therapy!'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."