Relationship Counselor Seeker Pillows

"Then one day he vanished without a trace."

"She treats me like a god. . . forgets I exist and only talks to me when she needs something."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Relationship Warning Lights

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"You've changed."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'