Relationship Counselor Enthusiast Pillows

"Is there something you'd like to talk about, Gerald?"

'But would you respect me in the morning...?...'

"I don't know, I've never tried?"

"You mean those were your hopes and dreams?"

"You've always let me down in this marriage."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"You've changed."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Relationship Warning Lights

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'