Relationship Counselor Fan Pillows

'Could you tell your wife that I've fallen in love with someone else?'

'I'm you from thirty years in the future. I've come back to tell you not to do it!'

'For goodness sake. . . is that my pipe?'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Relationship Warning Lights

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"You've changed."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"