Relationship Counselor Fan Pillows

'Could you tell your wife that I've fallen in love with someone else?'

'I'm you from thirty years in the future. I've come back to tell you not to do it!'

'For goodness sake. . . is that my pipe?'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"You've changed."

Relationship Warning Lights

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'