Relationship Advisor Fan Pillows

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"My computer just texted me."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

Urns in love

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

Hollywood Breakup

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

Growing Love

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.