Relationship Advisor Fan Prints

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm dating this girl, and she's hinting that she wants a commitment. How do I keep getting what I want without giving her what she wants? That's easy. Every time she opens her mouth to talk about it, softly touch her lips with your finger and say ... "You know what separates us from everyone else?" "We don't even need words. Everything we have to say, we can say with our eyes." How long will that routine buy me? Six weeks of bliss.

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"My computer just texted me."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

Hollywood Breakup

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

Growing Love

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."