Seeking Relationship Advice Gifts

'Sue, will you see a marriage counselor with me?'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'You know too much!'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'You mustn't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, Dear. It makes me feel redundant.'