Relationships Advice Gifts

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'You know too much!'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'