Love Advice Seeker Pillows

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm tired of holding my girlfriend's purse while she's shopping. How do I get out of doing that? Simple. Lose her purse. But wouldn't she be mad at me? I'd be in the dog house! "Dog house" is just the codependent man's way of saying "man cave."

'I can have any woman I please -- I just can't seem to please any!'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Speed Dating.

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

The Wishing Well

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"Try a danged head shot!"

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'