Love Advice Seeker Pillows

'I can have any woman I please -- I just can't seem to please any!'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

Speed Dating.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

The Wishing Well

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

A man surrounded with lovehearts