Life Advice Seeker Pillows

'Enjoy your youth while you can son. Once you hit eighty it's all down hill!'

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

A Bug's Life Advice

'Remember, if at first you don't succeed, ask yourself, what would Rupert Murdoch do?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Feel free to take notes."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Here's how you'll know for sure. Does he always get dreamy and say it, like 'I l-o-o-o-v-e you,' - or is it just a tossed-off, 'Love ya!?'

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'Face it, Tharg, girls just don't want to be abducted any more.'

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

Warbling on the First Date

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

The Neuro — The First Official Worldwide Currency

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."