Life Advice Seeker Pillows

'Enjoy your youth while you can son. Once you hit eighty it's all down hill!'

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

Months ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, I think you should laugh, love, and go with the flow - and do that with gusto! Don't sweat the small stuff. Kiss all the girls. Boys or whichever you prefer, but remember to laugh. - Bob. Pervert! If we allow laughing, then we'll have to allow cackling. Maybe even guffawing. I refuse to go down

A Bug's Life Advice

'Who are you and why are you telling me all your problems? Who do I look like? Dr. Phil?'

'Remember, if at first you don't succeed, ask yourself, what would Rupert Murdoch do?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Feel free to take notes."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

'Here's how you'll know for sure. Does he always get dreamy and say it, like 'I l-o-o-o-v-e you,' - or is it just a tossed-off, 'Love ya!?'

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

Warbling on the First Date