Dating Advice Seekers Pillows

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actuall

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

'Here's how you'll know for sure. Does he always get dreamy and say it, like 'I l-o-o-o-v-e you,' - or is it just a tossed-off, 'Love ya!?'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

Warbling on the First Date

'Face it, Tharg, girls just don't want to be abducted any more.'

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

The Neuro — The First Official Worldwide Currency

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

Hypnotizing Women

'If you weren't afraid to commit, you'd CARVE it, not use a pencil.'

'The poor thing -- her therapist recommended divorce, and she isn't even married.'

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

"I'm not withholding. I'm busy."

"Sanctuary Vicar, for God's sake, sanctuary."

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

"So you have a communication problem! Have you tried powerpoint?"

"I met my husband in this bar... well, ex-husband...well, my ex-husband who's my current boyfriend. It's complicated."