Romantic Adviser Gifts

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I've been talking to … um … Tina for three whole weeks … Do you think it's too early to try and get her to move out her near me? Excellent question. The answer is, we're all barreling full-steam toward death and incontinence. So seize the moment!!! that's both depressing and uplifting at the same time.

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"My computer just texted me."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Hollywood Breakup

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'