Romantic Adviser Gifts

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"My computer just texted me."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Hollywood Breakup

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"I THINK I've got an app for that!"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"She left you, Larry — you really have to stop beating yourself up over it."

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

Preachers with far too much input