Love Adviser Gifts

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Love linked

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

If you want to see love be love.

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"My computer just texted me."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

Hollywood Breakup

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

Domestic Pardners

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."