Marital Mirth Explorer Gifts

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Mrs. Almighty.

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

"Actually, that doesn't constitute a crime; but I do hope your wife returns your hopes and dreams."

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

"By my count, that is the 27th last cast."

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'The trial marriage was going okay, until a surprise witness showed up.'

'You may have to go through the pain barrier today.'

"...There's not a thing we can do that even resembles, sexy."

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

A husband and wife who have fallen off of their bicycle