Married Life Explorer Gifts

A couple in bed. The man is reading 'The Joy of Abstinence'.

Mrs. Almighty.

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"Honey, scratch my back."

'You told me to quit all of my bad habits, so I quit my job.'

'Been drinking again, have you? . . . A little burp told me.'

'We've got aspirin,acetaminophen and ibuprofen. You can't have a headache!'

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'My wife used to be more discreet about going through my pockets.'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

"You can't demand an apology from EVERYBODY!"

"Your blood pressure and anxiety level seem to elevate when you're near your husband. Is there any way you can avoid him for a few years?"

Missing Husband: Answers to name Miserable Bleeder.

"I don't know why they make these stupid steering wheels so small."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"Now give me something intimate to say."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

Too Weird to Have a Husband

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

Cyber Fight