Marriage Veterans Gifts

aging couple

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

"...until death do you a favor."

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"Go to sleep, or she'll sing it again."

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

The Colonel reading Clive's letters to the ladies of the regiment.

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'How long have you two been married?'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"I figured, better the devil you know."

'Yes, puberty did put me through a lot of stress. . . but it was my daughters puberty.'

"Huge fan."

"Oi! This ain't a posing pouch, you know."

"You know, Daddy... We should thank a vet every day."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

'I'm used to having my decisions overturned since I've been married 20 years.'

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"If I'd known it would last this long, I'd have settled for the edited highlights."

'I get the feeling you haven't heard a word I've said.'