Relationship Veteran Gifts

'Oh yeah?...Well if we're the only ones here, then whose leaves are THESE?'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Growing Love

Couple

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Too desperate?"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

'Not an orgasm, just the bed springs, I'm afraid.'

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."