Relationship Veteran Gifts

'Oh yeah?...Well if we're the only ones here, then whose leaves are THESE?'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Paint pots in love

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Couple

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Growing Love

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Hold on

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'Not an orgasm, just the bed springs, I'm afraid.'

"Too desperate?"

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.