Relationship Warrior Gifts

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."

'Can you see what time it is?' - 'Yes, perfectly. Thanks for asking!' - 'Are you being deliberately obtuse?' - 'Why would you think that?' - 'What time is it, then?' - 'I'd say about one million, give or take...'

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

'The epic continues...'

He'd often look back and wonder what went wrong. She'd catch him sometimes and call the police.

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

"It wasn't the breakup that hurt. It was the removal of those romantic tattoos that hurt."

'To be honest Fran, our marriage is going through a tricky patch.'

'It helps if you think of marriage as the moral equivalent of war.'

Sarah was having trouble getting over a previous relationship.

"Our therapist was right you know. Wherever we travel, our unresolved conflicts will travel with us."

You sure are angry when you're beautiful!

'She's still mad.'

'Our marriage is more combatible than compatible!'

"I'm tired of living my life around your precious bowel movements."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

I'm sorry, I just think we should start annoying other people.

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."

"I don't want to treat you like dirt, but I don't want to lose you, either."

"O.K. Hilda, I'm taking over this marriage."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

She - Interpreter - He.

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

Sulk Shows

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."