Relationship Warrior Gifts

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."

'Can you see what time it is?' - 'Yes, perfectly. Thanks for asking!' - 'Are you being deliberately obtuse?' - 'Why would you think that?' - 'What time is it, then?' - 'I'd say about one million, give or take...'

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

'The epic continues...'

He'd often look back and wonder what went wrong. She'd catch him sometimes and call the police.

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

"It wasn't the breakup that hurt. It was the removal of those romantic tattoos that hurt."

'To be honest Fran, our marriage is going through a tricky patch.'

'It helps if you think of marriage as the moral equivalent of war.'

Sarah was having trouble getting over a previous relationship.

"Our therapist was right you know. Wherever we travel, our unresolved conflicts will travel with us."

You sure are angry when you're beautiful!

'She's still mad.'

'Our marriage is more combatible than compatible!'

"I'm tired of living my life around your precious bowel movements."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."

"I don't want to treat you like dirt, but I don't want to lose you, either."

"O.K. Hilda, I'm taking over this marriage."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

She - Interpreter - He.

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Sulk Shows

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

Valentine Vaccines

Separations.

Couple