Dating Warrior Gifts

Lucy is having second thoughts about this blind date.

Dorothy and the singles bar

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Second lifeReal life.

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

Valentine Vaccines

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

'And in conclusion.'

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

Dropping Bombs and Hearts

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

'You're too aggressive.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

Netflix and chill?

His side of the bed, her side of the bed, and the demilitarized zone.

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

"Not on my watch..."

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."