Dating Warriors Gifts

"Sorry, the 'GSOH' in my add stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

'And in conclusion.'

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

'You're too aggressive.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

Netflix and chill?

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

"Not on my watch..."

"Is there room for me?"

Bridezilla

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."

"Don't you dare apologize to me!"

'Progress. Your prenup process is down to two boxes of tissue a day.'

Just Married

ZZZZZZZoom

Speed Dating

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."