Dating Warriors Gifts

Modern Dating Hazards

"Sorry, the 'GSOH' in my add stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

'And in conclusion.'

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

'You're too aggressive.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

Netflix and chill?

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

"Not on my watch..."

Just Married

ZZZZZZZoom

'Progress. Your prenup process is down to two boxes of tissue a day.'

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

"Don't you dare apologize to me!"

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."

Bridezilla

"Is there room for me?"